


Shuffle Freewrite Meme

by kayliemalinza



Series: Freewrites [12]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Crossover, Drug Use, Meme, Trippy, dodgy aliens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-19
Updated: 2008-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-27 07:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/293096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayliemalinza/pseuds/kayliemalinza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Part of a freewrite meme:<br/>1. Put your iPod or other mp3 player on Shuffle<br/>2. Pick the first five/seven/ten songs that come up.<br/>3. Write a short fic inspired by each of those songs. You may only write for the duration of the song - if the song lasts three minutes, you only write for three minutes. No cheating!</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part of a freewrite meme:  
> 1\. Put your iPod or other mp3 player on Shuffle  
> 2\. Pick the first five/seven/ten songs that come up.  
> 3\. Write a short fic inspired by each of those songs. You may only write for the duration of the song - if the song lasts three minutes, you only write for three minutes. No cheating!

Jack ran along the rooftop, feet pounding on the pavement, heart pounding in his ears, thinking of pounding Ianto into the mattress at three am last night. He tripped and fell into a rainbow vortex, twisted on a diplomatic slide of hockey pucks and glitter shirts. He retched and fumbled for the door latch; Ianto yanked his hand away and broke his wrist. Time shivered. Jack fell into a black-grey vortex, Jack saw spinning lights, Jack was heaving watered bile.

Ianto stood by quietly. Detox was hard to watch.


	2. Chapter 2

Gwen sighted carefully along the bow and snarled.

"Gwen?" Jack's hands were up by his head. Gwen guttered something in the back of her throat and Jack put his hands behind his head. "It's alright, Gwen. It's Jack. Do you remember me? Jack? I'm your boss. Your boss in the twenty-first century. You know, where women are allowed to wear pants? Not that I'm not digging the loincloth, but...."

Leela stepped forward, shoulder bones gliding dangerously beneath the skin. "The Sevateem do not know of the 'twenty-first century.' We mark time differently here. You—" she pulled her knife and cocked her head almost alluringly. "You are a stranger here."

"Ah, yeah," grinned Jack. "Care to fill me in on the culture?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Jesus Christ!" yelled Owen. He gripped the joystick as hard as he could—his hands were too slick, the blood was running fast, he _couldn't_ —Jack barrelled in from the other side of the ship, coat flapping out against a violent purple skyline streaked with turquoise, the sudden burst and scatter of yellow rockets—the joystick was still slipping—"Hang on!" Jack yelled.

"What do you _think_ I'm doing?"

"Ianto's bringing round the carrier, this will all be over—"

"Jack, the rockets. The rockets are turning green."

Slipping further, Jack's fingers crushed his knuckles to the molded plastic, the comms were crackling Ianto sounded scared, he sounded like he was going to let them down. Gwen was screaming. Screaming _good_ —screaming like she was swinging a battle ax. Tosh's voice came calmly down the line. Everything went pale and then, it faded into quiet.

"Oh God. Thank you."

"You're welcome," answered Tosh.


	4. Chapter 4

Gwen threw down the box of ribbons and screamed, "No! Absolutely not! No way in hell, Jack, and you're going there for suggesting it."

Jack glanced at Ianto. "It worked in 'V for Vendetta,'" he said.

Ianto sighed. "Jack, that's not a good reason," he said. "Besides, Gwen can't pass for a teenage prostitute."

Gwen cocked her head. "Are you saying I look old?" she asked archly.

Ianto looked faintly bamboozled. "I'm not attempting reverse psychology," he said. "This really is a bad idea."

Gwen glared at the pink, plaid, blue polka-dot and lacy ribbons strewn across the concrete Hub floor. "I could pull it off," she said.

Jack grinned. "See?" he said. "She just needed a little convincing."

Ianto stared in horror. "I wasn't _trying_ to convince her!"


	5. Chapter 5

"Asparagus," Owen said.

"As near as I can tell," said Tosh.

Owen raised his eyes to the ceiling in supplication. "Why did it have to be asparagus?" he moaned. "Why not cupcakes, or those little marzipan things? A good dish of snap beans, even."

Tosh rolled her eyes and swiveled back to her computer, legs primly crossed. Her skirt was slightly short today, and Owen wondered if Jack's Shrinking Ray was coming along well. "We're not asking you to eat it," Tosh said exasperatedly. "We just need you to go over to the park and politely inquire as to the asparagus' business on Earth."

"They're _asparagus_ ," Owen said.

"They _look_ like asparagus," Tosh corrected. "And, er, seem to be composed of largely identical biological elements."

"Walking, talking, space-traveling asparagus," said Owen. "Tell me they don't have little helmets."

Tosh stared determinedly at her computer and didn't say anything.

"And _I'm_ the one who has to do this?" Owen said. "Not Gwen? Or Ianto, I bet he loves asparagus, he's such a good boy."

"It's your turn on the rota," Tosh said. "So suck it up."

"Please don't say 'suck' when we're talking about asparagus," said Owen.


End file.
